| Manda 的个人资料Blue Kind照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
Blue KindKind of blue, kind of not. 3月15日 Wow, time goes on....Yes, I know, it's been a while again. My life has changed so drastically in the last few months; it's unbelievable (ok, it is believable, but that's an expression and it makes it sound really intense which is what I was going for). I'm with an amazing man. The type of man I dreamed about marrying someday. I'm so lucky to have hime and I'm lucky that circumstances worked the way they worked so that we could be together. Imran and I splitting up was devastating to me, but looking back, I see that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my little bubble world that I don't look at the world around me. Thank god I looked around a little, because I've never felt better in my life. Life is good. It's good that life is good. Isn't that good? I like good. Good. Good bye. 8月9日 Strange, stranger, strangestYes, it's been a while. I've been a bit preoccupied with my life and haven't had (or made) much time for the ol' blog. A lot has changed, yessirree! My fiance' and I are no longer together. I've met someone new and I think I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. It's strange to think that only a few months ago I was convinced there was only one man for me. Now I've met someone who I feel very strongly about and imagine I can be just as compatible with (probably more even). Strange to think I might not have met this new person had my fiance' not dumped me. A situation like this makes me feel like there is something such as fate. I know, I know, there are a lot of questions and inconsistencies when it comes to fate. For example,what about free will,? But how else should I explain the astounding number of coincedences which led me to where I now am at? It's all just a little too surreal for me sometimes. 4月14日 Hoppy Easter!Hello everyone! It's that time of year again. Chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and springtime! I'm going to Detroit to visit my brother. It should be fun.
My friend sent me this. It made my day, so I thought I'd share.
 3月30日 World-weary
3月11日 Once Again, It Is II've been gone, but now I'm here. Things have been up and down and all around. Much like a coast roller. I'm sick now, but before I wasn't. London was fun and I wanted to stay. I saw my fiance and it was a happy time. Then I had to say goodbye and all was sad again. Each day I grow more fond of him. I grow more hopeful that we will be together soon. It's been 3 1/2 years dammit! That's long enough I'd say, but what does it matter what I say? Together we will be, in body, not just mind. Ain't love grand?! 1月23日 Here I am...I wish I had no regrets. Sort of funny to say that I guess; "I regret having regrets". Just because I say that it doesn't mean I'm not trying in my life now. I can feel bad sometimes about the choices I've made, but still be a good person. It can still mean that I have a fighting chance of turning out to be a half way decent person. Isn't that all anyone can hope for anyhow? Being a half way decent person, I mean. Yeah, so that's what I want in my life. From now on if anyone wants to know my aspirations, I'm going to say that I want to someday be a half way decent person. That's what I am going to say. Yessirree! 12月31日 Law & OrderThere's a Law & Order marathon on today for  New Year's Eve. I think I could watch Law & Order all day every day and never tire of it. It's just so good. There's so much suspense. I'm sure it's pretty fake but I just don't care. It's nice to know that the bad guys get caught once in a while. Those detectives are so smart. Man, I feel like a bum just laying here watching hour after hour of Law & Order, but maybe I'll learn a thing or two about catching bad guys. One never knows when that might come in handy.12月25日 New YearWow, another year is almost gone. It's so amazing how time passes me by. I feel like it's flying sometimes. Life is so unpredictable. I'm still waiting for my fiance' to get his visa and it is very difficult to be away from him - especially during this time of year. Everyone is surrounded by their loved ones and the person I most want to be with right now is thousands of miles away. I'm hoping the new year brings happy news for me.
I tend to be sort of cynical around traditions and past times, but something about the New Year's resolution makes me want to do something life-changing. It seems there doesn't have to be a specified time of year to make a change in my life, but the new year just seems so hopeful and fresh. I really hope that I can work on being more balanced in my life. I have a tendancy to see things as black and white; so I guess my resolution for this year will be to work on seeing more gray in my life.
Happy holidays! I hope the new year brings much happiness. 12月17日 Bah Humbug!It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Blech. At one time in my life, it all seemed so exciting and magical. As I grew older I started realizing that so much of what the holiday had become was completely phony and removed from the true spirit of the holiday. I have to admit that it's turned me into somewhat of a scrooge. Part of it is that I'm away from my brothers and mother for the holidays so none of the traditions I grew up with are with me anymore, but something inside of me seems to have snapped.
I think it is important for people to remember that there is more to the holidays than giving pricey gifts or hob-knobbing with the neighbors. People should be kind to one another as a general rule. Let's try to have Christmas year-round. Peppermint lattes at Starbucks, Candy Cane pie at Baker's Square, and mint M & M's should be available all year as well.
Hope you all enjoy your holidays. I must go count my gold coins now. 11月14日 That's LifeIt seems sometimes, I may be slowly losing my mind. The little receptors inside my brain which tell me how to feel or how to perceive a situation or person, have gone haywire. Lately every situation I find myself in, and nearly every person I encounter creates within my mind a very uncomfortable feeling. I begin to hear myself criticizing every aspect of every situation. Perhaps it is a result of my desire to feel in control of situations. When a situation is outside of my control, I tend to become more critical (because I could, of course handle any situation better if I just did it myself). As can be imagined, this anxious feeling in my body makes it very difficult for me to communicate effectively.
Gradually I hope to quiet my mind. I'm actually a very nice person. Hopefully I'll start to feel a bit nicer and it will start to show in my actions. Anyone who comes accross me in my less than accepting state, I beg your forgiveness. In a good year or so I hope to have these demons excised!
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