| Manda 的个人资料Blue Kind照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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3月15日 Wow, time goes on....Yes, I know, it's been a while again. My life has changed so drastically in the last few months; it's unbelievable (ok, it is believable, but that's an expression and it makes it sound really intense which is what I was going for). I'm with an amazing man. The type of man I dreamed about marrying someday. I'm so lucky to have hime and I'm lucky that circumstances worked the way they worked so that we could be together. Imran and I splitting up was devastating to me, but looking back, I see that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my little bubble world that I don't look at the world around me. Thank god I looked around a little, because I've never felt better in my life. Life is good. It's good that life is good. Isn't that good? I like good. Good. Good bye. 8月9日 Strange, stranger, strangestYes, it's been a while. I've been a bit preoccupied with my life and haven't had (or made) much time for the ol' blog. A lot has changed, yessirree! My fiance' and I are no longer together. I've met someone new and I think I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. It's strange to think that only a few months ago I was convinced there was only one man for me. Now I've met someone who I feel very strongly about and imagine I can be just as compatible with (probably more even). Strange to think I might not have met this new person had my fiance' not dumped me. A situation like this makes me feel like there is something such as fate. I know, I know, there are a lot of questions and inconsistencies when it comes to fate. For example,what about free will,? But how else should I explain the astounding number of coincedences which led me to where I now am at? It's all just a little too surreal for me sometimes. 4月14日 Hoppy Easter!Hello everyone! It's that time of year again. Chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and springtime! I'm going to Detroit to visit my brother. It should be fun.
My friend sent me this. It made my day, so I thought I'd share.
 3月30日 World-weary
3月11日 Once Again, It Is II've been gone, but now I'm here. Things have been up and down and all around. Much like a coast roller. I'm sick now, but before I wasn't. London was fun and I wanted to stay. I saw my fiance and it was a happy time. Then I had to say goodbye and all was sad again. Each day I grow more fond of him. I grow more hopeful that we will be together soon. It's been 3 1/2 years dammit! That's long enough I'd say, but what does it matter what I say? Together we will be, in body, not just mind. Ain't love grand?! 1月23日 Here I am...I wish I had no regrets. Sort of funny to say that I guess; "I regret having regrets". Just because I say that it doesn't mean I'm not trying in my life now. I can feel bad sometimes about the choices I've made, but still be a good person. It can still mean that I have a fighting chance of turning out to be a half way decent person. Isn't that all anyone can hope for anyhow? Being a half way decent person, I mean. Yeah, so that's what I want in my life. From now on if anyone wants to know my aspirations, I'm going to say that I want to someday be a half way decent person. That's what I am going to say. Yessirree! 12月31日 Law & OrderThere's a Law & Order marathon on today for  New Year's Eve. I think I could watch Law & Order all day every day and never tire of it. It's just so good. There's so much suspense. I'm sure it's pretty fake but I just don't care. It's nice to know that the bad guys get caught once in a while. Those detectives are so smart. Man, I feel like a bum just laying here watching hour after hour of Law & Order, but maybe I'll learn a thing or two about catching bad guys. One never knows when that might come in handy.12月25日 New YearWow, another year is almost gone. It's so amazing how time passes me by. I feel like it's flying sometimes. Life is so unpredictable. I'm still waiting for my fiance' to get his visa and it is very difficult to be away from him - especially during this time of year. Everyone is surrounded by their loved ones and the person I most want to be with right now is thousands of miles away. I'm hoping the new year brings happy news for me.
I tend to be sort of cynical around traditions and past times, but something about the New Year's resolution makes me want to do something life-changing. It seems there doesn't have to be a specified time of year to make a change in my life, but the new year just seems so hopeful and fresh. I really hope that I can work on being more balanced in my life. I have a tendancy to see things as black and white; so I guess my resolution for this year will be to work on seeing more gray in my life.
Happy holidays! I hope the new year brings much happiness. 12月17日 Bah Humbug!It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Blech. At one time in my life, it all seemed so exciting and magical. As I grew older I started realizing that so much of what the holiday had become was completely phony and removed from the true spirit of the holiday. I have to admit that it's turned me into somewhat of a scrooge. Part of it is that I'm away from my brothers and mother for the holidays so none of the traditions I grew up with are with me anymore, but something inside of me seems to have snapped.
I think it is important for people to remember that there is more to the holidays than giving pricey gifts or hob-knobbing with the neighbors. People should be kind to one another as a general rule. Let's try to have Christmas year-round. Peppermint lattes at Starbucks, Candy Cane pie at Baker's Square, and mint M & M's should be available all year as well.
Hope you all enjoy your holidays. I must go count my gold coins now. 11月14日 That's LifeIt seems sometimes, I may be slowly losing my mind. The little receptors inside my brain which tell me how to feel or how to perceive a situation or person, have gone haywire. Lately every situation I find myself in, and nearly every person I encounter creates within my mind a very uncomfortable feeling. I begin to hear myself criticizing every aspect of every situation. Perhaps it is a result of my desire to feel in control of situations. When a situation is outside of my control, I tend to become more critical (because I could, of course handle any situation better if I just did it myself). As can be imagined, this anxious feeling in my body makes it very difficult for me to communicate effectively.
Gradually I hope to quiet my mind. I'm actually a very nice person. Hopefully I'll start to feel a bit nicer and it will start to show in my actions. Anyone who comes accross me in my less than accepting state, I beg your forgiveness. In a good year or so I hope to have these demons excised! 11月9日 DesiderataGo placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, Keep interested in your own career, however humble; Be yourself. Take kindly the counsel of the years, You are a child of the universe, Therefore be at peace with God, With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952. 10月27日 Mean GirlWhile I'd say I agree that "mean people suck", I have to admit that I have my moments of being right up there with the meanest of mean. What is it that can prompt me, a considerably kind person, to suddenly feel the need to speak ill of another person? When I hear others talk negatively about another person, it makes me cringe. For the most part, I just think everyone should try to get along and assertively approach a person if I have any issues with them. Sometimes though, it just hits me. Someone will do something that fires me up and I'll start just spewing whatever comes to mind to whoever is around to listen. Often I will immediately feel regretful and try to downplay what I have just said. I wish it was a lot easier to just hold my opinions inside until I've actually thought about doing something constructive with them. That way, no one would get hurt, and I won't be stuck looking like a mean girl. 10月24日 Believe it or NotSometimes I don't know what to believe. My religious stance is very uncertain, although I grew up in a christian household. The majority of my family members are considerably right winged in terms of politics, but I consider myself to be a liberal. People make me mad and sometimes I think I'd like to be a raving bitch to turn them straight, but generally I think it's  more important to be kind. I guess for the most part depending on the situation I will lean one way or another. Does that make me a weak person? Does that mean I don't have a mind of my own? Perhaps, but I think it also makes me a more understanding and caring person. I'm willing to bend a little and see both sides of a situation before making a judgement. Some people might call that naive, I call it open-minded.10月20日 Engrossing NovelLast night I read an entire Harlan Coben novel. It was very good and I just couldn't put it down. There were several times that I attempted to sleep, but I'd just become interested in the book again and decided to just finish it. Perhaps it was the suspense of not knowing where the kidnapped baby was; I don't really know. I've read other books by Coben and found them to be very enticing, but not like this one was. Sometimes I read books like this and feel sort of guilty because I don't feel I'm getting anything intellectual out of them. I try to change things around a bit but sometimes I just get stuck in a certain genre. Needless to say, I am very tired as I didn't get to bed until around 3 a.m. That is well past my bedtime, but I feel it was well worth it... 10月19日 Hairy BeastPlease forgive me if this topic causes anyone to be grossed out, but it's a question I've been asking myself for ages... Why do women shave their legs and underarms? Maybe I'm in the minority, but I absolutely hate to shave and only do it out of "neccessity". Now when I was just  approaching womanhood, the idea of shaving was so exciting. It was something I'd seen my mother do and I just couldn't wait until I was allowed to do it. Now, after years of the practice, it's something I've come to despise. Not only is it a total pain, but I see it as something that society is telling me to do so I feel a natural urge to resist. There have been times where I've gone months without shaving, but I still find myself embarrassed by it and wouldn't think of wearing a skirt if my leg hair was long. I've known women who made a choice to just never start shaving and they had no trouble showing off their long flowing leg and underarm hair. I've also been around when these same women are teased and taunted by complete strangers for having unshaved legs. There's no doubt in my mind that I will continue to follow this practice, as I have a tendency to be somewhat a follower in such matters, but I certainly won't like it!10月13日 Yeah I Really Do ThinkToday I received a phone call from my doctor informing me some of my labs came back abnormal. It's not really a huge deal, but it really got me to thinking; sometimes the medicine that is meant to help my disease (Rheumatoid Arthritis) causes more problems than the actual disease. To me, that's irony. For the most part, I don't have a problem taking medication. Rarely do I even bat an eyelash when I'm told about the possibility of certain side effects. It's all just part of the game. When I began taking this medication almost 20 years ago, I was told it would help me tremendously; it really has. Up until now, I didn't even think about there being a problem. I have had to get routine lab tests every month since the day I began the medication, and they've, for the most  part, been normal. Sometimes I just think there has to be a more healthful way to keep our bodies in check. I've never tried anything very natural, like accupuncture or massage or herbal treatments, but I'm thinking maybe now would be a good time.10月12日 Maybe Next TimeWell, I went to the White Sox/Angels play-off game last night and watched the White Sox lose. The game was very exciting and there were some great moments, but they just didn't play their best. It was very sad to not win, but I know it is a game and there are more important things to spend my time worrying about (I'll probably get shot for saying that). Anyway, I am not losing hope. They can still win and I'll be very anxious during the game tonight. After talking to my aunt, she informed me that the steals that caused Sox outs were mistakes. Apparently Podsednik misread the hand signs. I was really confused about that last night; why would he sacrifice an out like that. Well, I guess I got my answer. Really, I don't know a lot about baseball, but I do like to watch it, especially the White Sox.
GO SOX! 10月11日 Grab The TumsGrowing up with four brothers was sometimes an experience. We have so many stories to tell and so many memories - good and bad. There were times when we were there to offer support during a difficult time and then there were times when we would beat each other silly over absolutely nothing. Some of my best memories are ones that involve my brothers. One of the more funny stories just came to mind for me. It was actually fairly recent during one of my younger brother's visits here to Chicago. My brother, several family members, and myself had just gone to a local restaurant and stuffed ourselves silly. Afterwords we decided to go to Dunkin' Donuts for a coffee. Well, my brother  ended up getting a large roll and two doughnuts. He happily ate the two donuts. When he got to the coffee roll his face looked pained. He picked it up and stared at it and exclaimed "this one's gonna hurt"; he then promptly ate it.10月10日 White Sox....Oh Yeah Baby! I'm so excited; my aunt gave me her playoff tickets to go see the 1st playoff game between the White Sox and Yankees/Angels. It will be so fun. I can't believe she gave her ticket up, but she has school and I guess it's something she can't miss. Well, I will let ya'll know how it was! 10月7日 Donkey AccidentsWhile browsing a fellow spaces blog (Tie-Dye and a Hangman's Noose), I came accross the statistic
 "More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes". I thought this was one of the coolest things I ever heard, but it really got me to thinking. How exactly do they know such a thing? Are there really that many donkey accidents in a year? Who keeps track of such a statistic? Well, I turned to the internet for my answer and was somewhat disappointed. Apparently this is one of those things that gets passed around the internet and no one really knows where it originated. Basically though, I found out it may be true, but there isn't any way to tell. The fact is, no one really does keep track of such statistics, at least not in any orderly way. Thanks to my google search, I was able to find that donkey accidents are a regular occurence in some developing countries. That is pretty interesting. Actually, when I was visiting my fiance' in Pakistan, we regularly saw donkeys roaming the streets and being ridden by passengers. I imagine having donkeys around regularly would eventually result in some donkey accidents. Despite finding the assertion untrue, I decided I liked it enough to continue using it as a truth. Maybe everyone can help me spread it as a truth. That would be fun! |
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